Forgiveness : Whom ? Why ? When ? How ?

Forgiveness : Whom ? Why ? When ? How ? - by Payal Agarwal

It sounds so simple and sometime so complicated. Forgiveness or "I am sorry " can resolve many problems,the key is practice.
When someone including yourself is hurt, trust is broken and trust is not built in a day. It takes time and effort to build trust similarly when it is broken, this time it may take more time as past experiences doesn't allow the person to trust.

Forgiveness is the key to many locks in our life. It can open doors of love, happiness, abundance of all forms. Then question is Whom, Why, How and When to forgive? Will try and answer as much possible in this article.

Any situation specifically a situation where you are struggling requires forgiveness and as it's said your primary relation is with yourself so the first person to forgive is yourself and then others. Whatever your situation is good or bad, right or wrong, you have either created it or attracted it including people in your life. Thus in short you are the centre of your life and when you choose forgiveness you take in charge of your life. And when I say that you take in charge of your life, it means you send a message in the universe that you deserve love peace and abundance, you are ready for change. When you take the first step the universe sends you further guidance like books, people, healing courses, articles and so on like even reading this article can be your guidance from the universe. Even if the person doesn't is not asking for forgiveness but if you are struggling you can start forgiving him to resolve the situation.

Why forgiveness ? Any bad experience or situation can block our emotions and when our emotions are blocked no matter how hard we try we can't feel happy even if we change the place or the person with whom we had an issue, thus to open the blocks or to bring change in the situation the simplest way is forgiveness and you are not forgiving someone for them but for yourself as you have to move forward in life. Also when you choose forgiveness you are ready to see the bigger picture of your situation.

By bigger picture I mean that you are ready to move. Also it may be a karmic reason that you are in this situation. Also difficult or painful situations come in our life to make us learn something, by forgiveness the lesson can be easier.

Before how I would like to share some thoughts on when to forgive. Answer the following questions honestly and if most of them is yes then it's a sign that forgiveness is required.
Do you experience sadness with yourself and others in most of your situations ?
Do you see yourself stagnant in any direction of your life ?
Are you addicted or codependent ?
Are you overeating or having lack appetite or having irregular sleep patterns ?
Are you suffering from any illness ?
Are you worried for yourself or others ?
Do you have stress, anxiety or depression ?
Do you have a dysfunctional family or disturbed relationships?
Do you often complain about yourself, others or your situation ?
Do you experience helplessness, guilt, anger or insecurity often ?
Do you experience some repeated negative patterns in your life ?
Do you experience lack of financial or career growth ?
Even if in one area of your life you are not happy about that means it's calling you for your attention to heal and forgiveness can be the first step towards the same.

How to forgive ? I will share some simple ways here but you can always find your ways to forgive.

Affirmations : Make them your mantra for a few days and if you can do these affirmations looking in Mirror then they will be more effective.
Affirmation like " I am sorry , please forgive me " (you can add reasons for forgiveness).
"I am willing to let go of my old limitations beliefs and patterns" " I am free and you are free" "I choose peace " " I forgive myself and others easily " "I am safe "

Writing affirmations are more advisable then only saying them as when you write you give a message to your subconscious mind which is 6000 times more powerful then your conscious mind.

Meditation : Sit in a comfortable position and a place where you will not be disturbed for a few minutes. Close your eyes comfortably and call the person with whom you are having an issue with also trust that when you call that person, they have come with higher understanding. Have a dialogue with that person and close your conversation with forgiveness.
Thank you
Do this regularly till you feel peace from within also do 1 person at a time as it can be very emotionally exhausting.

Hawaii meditation Hooponopono can be also very effective for forgiveness.

Prayers : Prayer are simplest way to ask for forgiveness.

Expert help : I always advice taking someones help during the process of healing (Forgiveness is also a part of healing ) as doing yourself at times can be tiring and there may be resistance but if you take help then it can become easier and you can be more consistent. Thus you can go for counselling, therapy or reiki ( taking reiki or learning ) or any healing modality that you feel connected to.

Remember that its never too late to forgive or help yourself or take help from outside just don't wait any more.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you have to deal with that person again or stay in contact with that person, you can always build healthy boundary with people who have hurt you and you still choose forgiveness for your peace of mind and not for them.


Hope you find love, peace and happiness in every area and moment of your life, as you are born to experience only good as you deserve all good.

Would you like to understand more on forgiveness ? Let me know. Will share more information on forgiveness in coming weeks.

- PAYAL AGARWAL
Tarot and Angel card reader.
Certified Reiki master.
Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist.

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